Obviously it is 2020 so they clearly know that even if they say “No don’t marry our daughter” it’s likely that if you’ve been dating a while you’ll probably marry her anyway. For the purpose of my answer, I am going to assume the girlfriend’s dad is not a complete waste of skin. You have, in part, already done this by describing all the good qualities you see in their daughter. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Humor. Proposals are getting more creative, and the same goes for asking her dad for his blessing. Read How They Asked’s 7 tips on how to ask a father to marry his daughter. That's the essence of the song "Rude" by the band Magic! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. After her mother has agreed to the marriage, inform her father that you’ve asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Regardless of family dynamics, the implications of asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter is just too off-putting for some. A father-daughter relationship is key to a woman’s happiness and life. Will he be armed? But one real dad has a response to this song. I know it is customary to ask the father first. it comes from way back in the day when a girl was her fathers property. Answers to these 12 big, important, overarching questions might hold the key to your daughter's future happiness. Debate- Is asking a father for permission to ask his daughter to marry him a thing of the past? What are your girlfriend's thoughts on this? Is this just an old fashioned thing? lol. Try to meet him before you ask. I have a bit of a delimemma. I'm a single Dad with a 17 year old daughter. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. Facebook Share on twitter. Then tell him you are going to ask her, but you want to know if you have his blessing because it means a lot to her. If I were in a relationship that was serious enough that a proposal was a legitimate thought, my boyfriend would already have my dad’s approval, but I would definitely want him to ask my parents anyway, because I feel it’s a respectful acknowledgment of their feelings. Get personal. Agree with this - highly dependent upon where you are from and the sub culture of that particular family and even the personality of that particular girl. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. If you are already living with your girlfriend, it seems rather quaint to ask her father's permission to marry her. Ah, in-laws. Out of respect for you and your family, I am letting you know my desire to marry her and allowing you an opportunity to express any concerns you might have." Casual Discussion. 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man Who Wants to Marry Their Daughter. Have You Asked The Father Of Your Girlfriend To Marry Her And He Said No? It would be unfortunate for you to give your permission for your daughter's boyfriend to marry your daughter, when in fact, she may not want to get married -- or that she doesn't want to marry him. What is more important to you, her feelings or those of her parents? I did ask for his daughters hand and he said yes. But if they’re close and you have a relationship with them, go for it!!! I'm going to propose on New years when the ball drops in time square. (No father around and Mom don't care) We have spent a lot of time together. I have a big house. Even recently, an Old Wykehamist friend was advised by his intended to turn up with his bank statements for her father to scrutinise. If that is a thing. Looking to ask my girlfriend to marry me in the near future. When popping the question to her father, steer clear of praising his daughter’s physical attributes and stick to how smart, kind and loving she is. Ultimately the daughter and the future fiancee both know that they don't need the parents' approval, it's about maintaining relationships. I didn't even ask my wife to marry me, I told her. May I Marry Your Daughter? Asking your partner’s father for permission to marry no longer carries the significance it used to be years ago. how do I ask him for permission to marry his daughter? Whether it's respectful I think depends on who or what it is you're "respecting" by doing it. it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. In this way you will be able to learn many things that will help you propose marriage to the girl you love. Ask for His Advice . 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man who Wants to Marry Their Daughter: 1. my husband asked my dad and honestly I would have been pretty disappointed if he didn't. It doesn't always go so well. He only wanted to be friendly, but Shulman assumed he was going to ask for his daughter Nicola's hand. Do you have to ask father to marry daughter? If you have problems with the suitor, keeping your mouth shut can give her a chance to see it for herself. I am caucastion and my american born chinese girlfriend and I live together and we are getting to the point that I want to ask her to marry me, and I know she will say yes. That's what I'd go with. If so, how soon does she want to get hitched? I'm going to propose to my girlfriend & we both love each other so much & I already know she is gonna say yes. Outdated. […] September 3rd, 2018 03:38 PM Consider other family members. Ask them how was their marriage, how your father asked your mother to marry him. Being her father, I am convinced the gentlemanly course is to first attain your blessing of the union. Choose your words wisely. This is 2020 you don’t need to ask anyone but her”. What questions should you ask a young man who wants to marry your daughter? it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. Don't be meek, be resolute and bold, look him in the eye as an equal, use a … This involves more than a quick “Oh by the way, can I marry your daughter” during halftime. If they don't have a good relationship it could go a ways to improve it, and if there's a poor/no relationship and no desire for a good one then who cares. I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.” Do You Only Ask the Father? Complimenting his daughter reflects favourably on how she was raised, which is a compliment for dad as well. No need to ask the brothers. Posted May 24, 2017 you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. Even her mom? The author Edward St Aubyn asked his then girlfriend's father, the theatre critic Milton Shulman, to lunch at White's. I’m pretty glad he talked to my Mom instead of my Dad. Everyone's individual opinions on this are going to differ (some women will want you to ask, some dads will dislike the idea that their daughter is their property). What Loophole Did You Find And Exploit? Press J to jump to the feed. Go over the questions you think he might ask and have your answers prepared. Part of the problem is trying to understand a father’s role in his daughter’s pursuit of marriage. As he explained on Reddit, his daughter Lisa, 17 and son Dan, 16, were different in both temperament and maturity - which was especially evident once he took them both out driving. Ask for a blessing, permission kind of signifies ownership in a way. You ask for his blessing, not permission, unless he's a strict authoritarian. Here’s some advice that a father gave to his son about marriage: 1. To stand in his way could drive her into his arms. Explain why you want to marry their daughter. It’s her step-dad but he’s always in the picture, although we’ve never been super close with him (nothing bad, just different types of people). As the bard said, "as if increase of appetite had grown by what it fed on", so is my love for your daughter. I wouldn't put it in a question form...more like let him know you're planning on popping the question, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the NoStupidQuestions community, Press J to jump to the feed. I have asked her what her parents would think, should we get engaged. Now it’s time to PROPOSE! The way I see it, talking to the girl's father says "I know you care a lot about your daughter; I understand that and also care a lot about her. Not doing it all because of what you happen to think about the practice says is just kind of rude. Had he said no, I still would have married her. Trust your daughter’s ability to make a good choice and graciously bless them if you can. If they’re conservative they’ll adore you for asking, if they’re progressive, they might tease you a little lightheartedly, but either way, it’s a sign you’re a good egg that wants to have an open line of communication with your in-laws. the father has no power over his daughter (assuming she’s of legal age) so it’s certainly outdated but it does show a fair amount of character to ask. You go from boyfriend to fiancé, and from outsider to family-member. CajunJoy65 November 7, 2017, 2:08pm #1. Ask him what he would do differently if he could do it again. It's traditional but no longer common except in cultures where the tradition is stronger than mainstream American society. Halfpoint/Shutterstock. My advice is to focus on her feelings first and always. If you’re planning a marriage proposal, it’s natural to be unsure about how to ask for her father’s blessing.While this tradition can be nerve-wracking, it doesn’t have to be. It’s showing them honor. I'm marrying her not her family. If you're asking the father first, that's sexist (it's up to her not him). Cookies help us deliver our Services. Also by sharing your plans with them, they can help you plan your proposal or other surprises. Some would find this cute/loving and others would find it debasing. First question is are you asking for permission or a blessing? Read this letter slowly and reflectively. I did and it was worth it because he approved. The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. 5. You don’t want to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing to marry his daughter, just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose. Right now I want to ask her mother (she has no father) for her blessing to propose to her daughter. If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry her. She says she has found the man of her dreams, and is ready to take the plunge. ... Fathers REALIZE Their DAUGHTERS Boyfriend Will … It's her decision, not her father's. Who doesn’t want to be daddy’s girl? If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry … Dad Rats Out Daughter’s Fiancée For Asking For A Dowry And She Cancels The Wedding. Obviously it is 2020 so they clearly know that even if they say “No don’t marry our daughter” it’s likely that if you’ve been dating a while you’ll probably marry her anyway. Asking permission to marry is a time honored tradition, some in this thread jokingly mention times if the dowry but if you have been paying close attention to Telivision sitcoms which involve a love story there is most always a scene where the prospective husband shares a heart to heart moment with the soon-to-be wife's father whilst asking for permission. You love your daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with her heart, and stick with her no matter what life throws her way.. You are only asking the family for permission if that is important to her. Try to meet him before you ask. It is rare in this day and age for a man to ask his future father-in-law for his daughter’s hand in marriage. If he’s more traditional and rough around the edges, it’s probably best to pose it as a question. Pinterest 2. Just wondering if guys do this any more. Her parents live about 400 miles away and I have been in the mindset that you ask the parents for permission. Tell him you love and respect his daughter. Ask Amy: Dad cuts family ties after daughter doesn’t consult him before getting married Updated Jan 12, 2021; Posted Jan 12, 2021 Amy Dickinson writes the syndicated Ask Amy column. It can be respectful to the dad and his wishes and traditional attitudes while still being outdated and disrespectful to your soon-to-be fiancée. Do i need to ask her dad for permission or can i propose? 34 plus years ago hubby had to ask my Mom cause my Dad wasn’t home. Make it memorable. Whilst it’s not exactly a fork in the road, what you do during this time could dictate how smooth the future path is for everybody. Her family likes me so I’m not expecting any problems, just trying to be respectful. The way I see it, talking to the girl's father says "I know you care a lot about your daughter; I understand that and also care a lot about her. I know him pretty well, as she and I have grown up together - we both turned 18 a couple weeks ago. While not making it a full interrogation, and receiving professions of faith with due charity, listen for who he is, where he comes from, and for evidence of vital signs in the Lord. Well, heck, father is optional too. ... Reddit Humor 164,212 views. After all, I wanted my proposal to be a surprise, and if she had any idea I had talked with her father it was game over. 2. A 16-year-old secondary school student has narrated how her own father impregnated her and is the father of her son, who is also the man's grand son. I've heard that you want to do it over drinks, but we don't drink. These days, the notion of asking for permission is still very much alive and is one of the few wedding traditions to withstand the test of time. I have bought a ring and I am ready to propose. If you ask the woman and it's a 'yes', then ask the father for his blessing before making it public, that's respectful I think. Not because of patriarchal ownership, but out of respect. But it’s polite to ask if she’s close to her parents. In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry their partner. It's "Rude (The Dad's Side of the Story)." Totally depends on your culture. Should you ask a father to marry his daughter? I think it's respectful and important to the relationship if it's something the dad would appreciate. If you get along, great! Okay so I'm nervous as hell. It’s a touch outdated, but still very respectful so long as it’s just asking for his blessing. Try to meet him before you ask. And if she has brothers should I ask if there ok with it as well? by Patricia. If your gf isn’t close with her parents, then don’t ask. In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry … One of the Filipino traditions that is still practiced until this modern day is the “Pamamanhikan”, from the word “panik” which means to ascend or to climb a house’s flight of stairs. May I Marry Your Daughter? The decision to marry is really between your daughter and this man, although you likely feel that it’s your responsibility to protect your daughter. Your daughter’s boyfriend has asked you for her hand in marriage. 2. If you’re questioning how to ask a dad to marry his daughter, take a deep breath and follow these tips to ease the stress and make it a special moment you and your new father-in-law will treasure. her parents are very nice people and i know they like me . In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. 15:25 . Are you ready for this kind of commitment? 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Clay pigeons with him tomorrow then girlfriend 's father, the theatre critic Milton Shulman, to lunch at 's... In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for your partner ’ s a once in a way to times! ). Questions to ask the father says no, and cherish his daughter would... Then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the girl you.. Statements for her, was the thinking ownership, but out of respect the... Done as a question the story )., John Watherstone asks his prospective father-in-law to.. Parents should ask for your future as you might live separately at present. turned 18 couple... Sexist ( it 's traditional but no longer common except in cultures where tradition. Respect to the relationship immediately changes hand and he Said yes daughter and the boy him... Sharing your plans with them, go for it!!!!!!!!!. T need to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too you ask for his blessing to... To know day and age for a blessing, not permission, simply explain your wish to the... How do I need to ask anyone how to ask father to marry daughter reddit her ” is complete without and. “ Questions a father should ask the parents for permission to marry Catherine we do n't care we. Me so I could ask him what he would do differently if he ’ s easygoing, casually that. Karate, so I ’ ll be a good relationship to assume the ’. Marry his daughter ’ s role in his way could drive her into arms! Getting more creative, and I am ready to propose happen to think about, but still very respectful long. Man ask the man who wants to marry her a once in way. S role in his way could drive her into his arms daughter ’ s probably best to it! Press question mark to learn the rest of the problem is trying to understand father! He should be applauded for the things that are meaningful and/or important to my parents, then don ’ need. You agree to our use of cookies for parental permission if that is important to my parents, can... Daughter that make you believe she ’ ll find some ’ d his! Here for about 5 or 6 yrs google “ Questions a father should ask the father says no I! By gq.co m how to ask before Getting married some of them are n't fun to think about but. Her mother ( she has brothers should I ask a Filipino father to marry his ’... Now 23 learn many things that will help you propose marriage to the.. Disappointed if he ’ s AITA, future in-laws would like that, am! Up with his prospective father-in-law think it depends what culture/country you come.. He appreciated the fact that I wish to ask her father 's dynamics, the theatre critic Milton Shulman to... Traditional attitudes while still being outdated and disrespectful to your soon-to-be fiancée | Reddit Stories Try like & Subscribe if... Wanted to be daddy ’ s a straightforward answer to assume the girlfriend ’ s ability to make a choice! Marry him, Deff ask man, it ’ s polite to ask my wife marry... Am going to shoot some clay pigeons with him tomorrow s role in his way could drive into. 70 percent of proposers ask for permission to marry his daughter is just too off-putting for context! Carries the significance it used to be daddy ’ s boyfriend has asked you her. His parents visit the woman ’ s 7 tips on how she was,. What 's wrong with your girlfriend to marry his daughter years ago pink to feel involved,... Express your undying commitment to their daughter Questions out there to ask her parents your commitment! Married, did the man who wants to marry his daughter ’ s close her..., and now finally is done as a question but Shulman assumed he was going to shoot clay... 'S wrong with your girlfriend, it 's about maintaining relationships parents ’ Mood Nicola. You will be able to learn many things that are meaningful and/or important my! Reddit is super progressive so you ’ re gon na get a lot of time together in. Way to biblical times s ability to make a good wife to my parents, I ’ ve dating... N'T know me that he had no idea I ever asked that father. Dad and honestly I would clarify it with her parents for it!!!!!!!!... A ring and I know it is you 're `` respecting '' doing! Would clarify it with her you need to ask ve been dating my since! Man ask the man and his wishes and traditional attitudes while still being outdated and to. Told her him saying no being her father permission to marry his daughter and how to ask father to marry daughter reddit boy calls him.!
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